Jaded Frum Girl Love

22 Jun

Originally posted on Frumsatire

Are you there jaded frum girl? It’s me, offthedwannabe. I want you. Tell me your hopes and dreams. They’re all gone? Oh, you’re just to good to be true.

What is it about you that drives me wild? Is it your dark brown hair and slightly alternative good looks? Your angry but tznius long sleeve t-shirts? Your cynical attitude protecting something really sweet deep down?

Tell me something negative about the bais yaakov you went to. Oh yeah. Let’s go to the mall and make fun of frum people. Did you just give that homeless guy money when I wasn’t looking? I want you so bad it hurts.

Come on, you know I don’t really want the blond haired girls. I wouldn’t even give them a ride in the rain. Would they tell me to go fuck myself with as much feeling as you do? Would they fight with my family like you do? We’ll be together forever. You love/hate me like I’m a part of you.

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