Random Thoughts

22 Jun

-If a Jew falls in the forest, does he still complain?

-Lakewood is like Iran. You know a lot of people that have moved out, but nobody ever moves back. Oh, they might go back to visit their relatives, but they’re not sticking around.

-I saw a sign near a condo development off the side of the New Jersey turnpike that said, “If you lived here, you’d be home by now”. That’s true. Or I could drive 15 more minutes and not have to live on the turnpike.

-Living well is the best revenge, but actual revenge will do fine in a pinch.

-A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush, unless the bird just ate.

-When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or just sell the lemons and pocket the money. I’ll feel bad for you when life stops giving you free shit.

-You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Of course, having your cake is pretty pointless then. Who comes up with this crap?

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