My Take On The Shidduch Crisis

29 Jun

Well, first of all, I don’t know if the shidduch crisis actually exists. Any problem that people become aware of in the frum community seems to get an automatic addendum of “crisis” to build some fear momentum. As usual, there is no attempt to gather real data, and everyone just spouts their own opinion of the situation. This post won’t be any different. Of course, I’m much smarter than all the rest of you amharatzim, so that should be enough to give me credibility.*

If there’s a spanner thrown in the works here, it’s pretty obvious to me that it’s the modern Yeshiva system. Men and women each bring something to the table that the other sex is looking for. Everyone at some point early on hopes for the 1st draft picks, but they realize that men who have more money will get hotter women, so the other numbers down the line eventually give up and pair off with each other. Monogamy may not be natural, but it is a very socially conscious law, allowing for everyone to get laid.

The problem starts when people try messing with it. The Bais Yaakovs tell girls that a guy who’s learning is the real ’10′, and they should ignore everything else. That may seem like a simple value substitution, but it’s not, and here’s why: All you need to do to become a 10 is sit your ass down in Yeshiva and show up to seder. That’s it. Now you’re automatically on top and hold all the cards. You aren’t forced into your natural position. When the cream of the crop of girls your age is skimmed off, you just go younger. You could be 25 and pick the hottest 18 year old. And why wouldn’t you? It’s not like you have some Americanishe idea of wanting a girl as a friend. This is a numbers game.

*Oh come on, I’m not stealing Rabbi Pinky’s lines. Imitation is the sincerest form of laziness.

(Cross-posted on Frumsatire)


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