Wait, Supermarkets Are Pissing You Off Now? Yup.

3 Jul


Say what you want about kosher supermarkets. They’re small. They’re overpriced. They meat section brings up traumatic memories of your mother hitting you in public. (That one’s normal, right?) All may be true. But at least they don’t make you feel like some evil marketing genius is trying to manipulate you out of your money.

Take Balducci’s. This is one of those upscale not-quite-super markets that cater to well-off suburban professionals (goyim). Their tagline is “Food Lover’s Market”. Obviously, the layout of the store and the word “market” are directed at the Starbucks-Apple crowd. This particular demographic faces a unique challenge when shopping: How do I consume like a typical American, while simultaneously holding onto my anti-capitalist, socially-conscious views? The answer to this seemingly unsolvable riddle is pretty sweet. Mass self-delusion.

It’s pretty silly to think that buying more expensive Green food is somehow less capitalist, but when everyone participates in the delusion, the guilt disappears. No, you’re not keeping up class warfare by buying rich man’s food to feel superior; you’re saving the planet. And those expensive cheeses? They’re “artisan” and “organic”, which everyone knows means “struggling small-businessman”. But what about those imported wines and specialty meats? Well, you’re a food connoisseur (a food lover, or even “foodie”). I mean, why shouldn’t you enjoy yourself a little? It’s imported from Europe, which Lord knows is made up of 90% small farmer socialists. And really, you have a sophisticated palate. So you know that this particular mass-produced item that this chain-store stocks all it’s shelves with is infinitely superior to what’s on display at ugh, Walmart.

Good for you. There’s no reason why a person such as yourself should eat bread with preservatives. That’s what the proletariat eat.

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One Response to “Wait, Supermarkets Are Pissing You Off Now? Yup.”

  1. offthdwannab May 4, 2016 at 1:17 am #

    America doesn’t make smart people. People go to college to learn how to make money in a particular subset of the economy. They’re not open minded entrepreneurs. They’re workers. That’s why they’re still using products to feel good about themselves. They’re not lions. They’re sheep. Stupid sheep who’ve been trained to do a job. Especially the women who are the biggest suckers for these whole foods stores.

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