Little Girls Are Destroying The World

3 Aug

Experts on TV are busy blaming the decline of American civilization on the economy, the government, the job market, and many other trivial things. The real problem of course is girls aged 10 to 25. They have single handedly destroyed written conversation. Now, there’s no possibility of intelligent discourse and all of our problems will snowball until we’re officially doomed. (Even this lame segue was caused by a 12 year old girl.)

Have you seen them? Every sentence has 15 emoticons, 20 punctuation marks in a row, and of course a bullshit phrase describing how they’re feeling. OMG!!!!!! My dog almost pooped on the lawn!!!!!!! How crazy is that?????????!!!!!!!!
Reply: Thats insane!!!!! rotfl!! lolol!!! πŸ™‚

That last bit of faked ejaculation is important here. ‘Laughing out loud’ has been sucked into the rolling mass of bullshit. At this point, it’s entirely meaningless. But this girl wants to fake some real emotion for her needy friend. So she further bastardizes the language by lying in more descriptive terms. β€œ laughing out loud, out loud!”, you know, for reals. β€œI’m just rolling on the floor laughing out loud!” β€œReally, you’re as interesting as the child rock star you imagine yourself to be!” *pause* β€œNow, tell me that right back!”

There should be an internet abuse hotline. If you’re gonna molest the English language, you will be banned from conversing in it online. You’re now officially forced to talk to actual people. Or you could learn French. I don’t care what you do with that language. No-one’s using that language for anything important anyway nowadays.


3 Responses to “Little Girls Are Destroying The World”

  1. Gutman Braun August 3, 2011 at 9:06 am #

    rotfl!! lolol!! πŸ˜€

  2. Anonymous August 8, 2011 at 1:25 am #

    you sound exactly like the dude who wrote emails from an asshole

    • itchemeyer August 8, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

      Thanks! I just poked around his site- he’s hilarious.

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