The Republican Debate And Other Inconsequential Things

13 Sep


So I’m staying at a motel in Pittsburgh now for work and the other guy in the room turned on the Republican debate on CNN. First off, why are we going through the motions? Does anyone think they can beat Obama? In case you haven’t realized, he’s Barack Obama, and you’re a generic white man from who the fuck knows where. I can’t stand all you bastards, but jeez, the blue team is clearly going to win.

That said, the debate was pretty lively, almost interesting, to watch. All the douchebags were arguing with each other, the crowd was cheering and booing randomly, even Wolf Blitzer appeared close to having an emotion. The best part, though, was an interview with Michelle Bachman, the tea party candidate, after the debates were finished. The reporter asked her about an HPV vaccine that another candidate put on his state’s regimen of standard children’s vaccines.

Mrs. Bachman: This is an outrage! Irreparable damage has been done to thousands of young girl’s bodies without parents knowing about it. The government is invading 12 year old girl’s bodies. This is outrageous, unprecedented! It should be an opt-in program, not an opt-out. It’s not enough that the governor went back and changed the policy on this, he should have known, no, he should have had the moral certainty to have known from the beginning what to do.

Wow. That was certainly a mouthful. She kept coming back to “invading 12 year girl’s bodies”, like 3 or 4 times. I was getting a little horny. (Joke! Joke!) But really, what a crock of shit. Why can’t she just say what she means? But no. No candidate can get away with mentioning the “C” word in a debate, so she concocts this silly scare tactic about vaccines. Just say it, “I’m a… Christian.” That’s right, a Christian. That’s why I don’t like vaccines that help kids have sex with people they aren’t married to. Of course I don’t have a problem with vaccines, there are tons of vaccines that all kids have to get unless they “opt-out”. It’s a values issue.

Really. Was that so hard, you fork-tongued politician?

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4 Responses to “The Republican Debate And Other Inconsequential Things”

  1. tesyaa September 13, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    You have to share a room when you travel for work? Yuck.

    • itchemeyer September 13, 2011 at 5:58 pm #

      Tell me about it. I couldnt sleep at all. I ducked out and took a nap today.

  2. brainrants September 14, 2011 at 6:48 pm #

    As I assume you’re Hasidic, or at a minimum Orthodox, you must be baffled by this growing infatuation with evangelical politicians. I was raised in a Christian home and I don’t even get this shit. Perry and Bachman concern me. In 20 years we’ll have idiots running on a Luddite agenda.

    • itchemeyer September 14, 2011 at 9:00 pm #

      I’m not evangelical, but I was raised in a very Orthodox Jewish house and community, so I understand religious extremism.
      Through that lens, the uptick in hardline religion makes sense. The country is growing more and more afraid, first from terrorism, now the market crash, joblessness. They want security, and God provides that.

      I think that people naturally don’t want to do what daddy, or the great daddy in the sky, says. They want to do what they want. Until they feel threatened by something don’t understand, that they feel is out of their control. Then they run back to daddy and do whatever he says.

      That’s when you start seeing the real crazy come out. Like people blaming hurricanes and debt on gay sex and not going to church (or synagogue), and politicians talking about “moral grounding”. You know, following what God says so we don’t get hurt, or punished.

      If you want to see some of the same backwards bullshit coming from a dude in a beard, take a look at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxDHjiw2uoc

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