Art, or something like it… (hint: it’s naked people!)

21 Sep

I guess I should’ve stayed in college. Have you seen what counts as art? Here, check this out on your own, you’regoingtohell&I’mnotresponsible: Nude Art

That’s right. It’s art. There’s a guy who lines naked people up and takes pictures of them. That’s art too. There’s another guy who poses naked people and takes pictures. Art again. Damnit!!! I wish I would have known about that as a career choice. I can’t paint crap, but I can take naked pictures. I’d be real into that too.

And it’s very different than being a photographer for Playboy, because I can still go to family events. I’m an artist. If anybody tries to make fun, I just have to smile at him condescendingly. Oh, you poor, uncultured peasant. Like a beast, really. You don’t understand. Then I continue to take pictures of boobs.

I wonder if I can just break into the field. I’ll get a beret, or whatever’s arty right now- big plastic frames- and find some hot college girls. Then I’ll post pictures on my art site. I’ll do them dark and shadowy, or black and white. That way, nobody will have any questions. If the campus security rolls by, like:

“Hey buddy! What’re you doing with all those girls?”

“Err, uh.. opening up a window to my soul, officer?”

“My ass. Opening up…don’t tell me what you’re opening up. Show me those pictures. Oooh, naughty, naughty.”

“‘Ey, boss. Aint she lookin over her shoulder in despair?”

“You’re right, Joe. Sorry I bothered you, sir. Carry on.”

I think I’m really onto something. What would I have to learn, camera angles? Lighting? Study up on current technique? Yeah, that’s it. You know I think I’m getting in the mood to get a little more cultured right now actually. Excuse me.

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3 Responses to “Art, or something like it… (hint: it’s naked people!)”

  1. Steve Schwartzman September 21, 2011 at 8:39 am #

    Hey, I do nature photography, where the plants and animals are always naked.

    Steve Schwartzman
    http://portraitsofwildflowers.wordpress.com

  2. Gutman Braun September 22, 2011 at 12:21 pm #

    If it were only so easy! It’s like any kind of sales job: you can only pull it off if you can convince others that it’s art – and, hey, I wish you luck with that!

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