Rediscovering Prayer

10 Dec

My path back to prayer happened a few days ago, totally by accident. No planning or reading beforehand, no intention of prayer at all. I was heading up the stairs to go to work, and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I just stood by the foot of the stairs, looking at them, with no energy to walk up. I was just at a total loss until an old forgotten prayer, like an old forgotten friend, popped up in my mind. “Fuck”, I said softly. Then again, with a little more conviction, “Fuck”. My circumstances didn’t change at all, but somehow I found the strength to continue on, just taking it one step at a time with a whispered word of Fuck on my lips.

I didn’t think about it again until I was at a client trying to fix something that just wouldn’t go. I was getting more and more frustrated until I couldn’t stand it anymore. Suddenly, I stopped trying to fit the pieces together, put everything down and uttered a soft, heartfelt “Fuuuuck.”. The next second, I picked up the two pieces, and -miraculously?- they fit together. 

So I have found strength in Fuck. When things get too bad, I pause and turn to Fuck. Sometimes it’s such a relief to be able to stop and realize that I can’t do everything myself, and turn things over to a higher power.


4 Responses to “Rediscovering Prayer”

  1. Gutman Braun December 12, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Amen to that! Aye, yes, I wholeheartedly agree. And for this reason I’ve never understood why exactly George Carlin replaced prayer to a higher being with prayer to Joe Pesci, when simple words like “AHHHHH — God-damn-mother-fucking-shit!” are so incredibly 100% reliable. Tried and tested. Who needs Joe P when a couple choice words are so perfect? And of course, there’s Moreinu Harav Shmuel Clemens Z’L’s famous quote:
    “Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”

  2. bestbathroombooks December 12, 2011 at 7:54 pm #

    Just don’t use “fuck” too much. It’s like a drug. You’ll build up a tolerance.

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