Read part one here. He took my hand. It went dark, and suddenly, I could see my father as a kid, 7 or 8 years old. I recognized his face from a picture my grandmother kept. He was playing with a small toy in his room, when a man, my grandfather, walked in drunk. My father flinched. So did I.
Instantly, we evaporated and reappeared in the blackness of space, blue Earth and yellow sun nowhere in sight.
“Where-?” I started to say.
“Look there.” God said.
He pointed to the star dominating our view. As I looked closer, it actually seemed like there were two stars, when Bam! my entire filed of vision was filled with a brighter light than I’d ever thought possible. As I watched, a star came shooting out if the explosion, with a mass of bright white gas filling everywhere.
“That’s the start of life.” God said. “Everything living in this solar system will die. But the materials for real life have just been made. Do you understand?”
“And that’s fine. The world will go on without you according to plan. My plan. You led the life I made you live. Anything you think you should have or could have done, you obviously couldn’t. You are a piece in the puzzle. Don’t get too upset for not being able to see the whole board.”
I breathed and relaxed.
“There we are. Just let everything go. There we are.”
And then, something popped into my mind. Clear, pushing everything else out.
“Wait!” I shouted. “Wait! I can’t go! My daughter! Who will take care of my daughter? I still have something I need to do!”
God frowned slightly and said, “You can’t go back now. Everything will work out somehow. We’re going to a place where all this will make sense. Just relax.”
“NO!” I screamed. “I can’t relax. Take me back! I can’t enjoy anything while I abandon her.”
“But didn’t you just abandon her before?” God said. And He looked, well, puzzled. There was no way else to describe it.
“I didn’t believe then. I do now.”
And God suddenly changed form into a giant dark angel, raised an eyebrow and then vanished.
“God?” I said. “God? Where are you?”
“I’m here”, a voice boomed out from everywhere. “You may go back to Earth.”
“What?” I said, stunned. “What happened-? This was all a game? Was that even you?”
“I think you know who that was.”
“Well, people seem to like him better.”
“Why did you play this game with me?” I tried to come up with something. “Was this a contest between you two for my soul?”
“Don’t be an idiot.” I felt stupid. He continued, “This wasn’t a game. This was the point of your life. Everything you were put through, and everything you did, led up to this moment. Satan wasn’t lying when he told you this- you have personally never made a choice in your life. You think you have. But everything was really worked out by outside forces. To get you to this point. To get you here, so that when, for the first time, there was nothing making you choose one way to go, you would be faced with a choice of putting someone else’s happiness over your own. And you chose theirs. Let’s go.”
We appeared on Earth, at my house.
“Touch the ground”, God said.
I touched it. I could fell myself being poured into the ground through my fingers. I felt myself starting to become a part of it. But something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong. I pulled my fingers back. I felt like I’d been punched in the chest. My Self jumped back immediately.
“No.” I said. “No. God, what are you doing?”
The voice boomed, “You are becoming the Earth. You will become trees and flowers and plants and worms and small animals. You cannot go back as a person. Knowing would make you a useless human being. Ignorance is essential.”
“But I don’t want this. How will I help my daughter?”
“You are a few seconds away from death in your current form. There is no changing reality. You have made the correct choice. You will remain here and be a part of my perfect creation.”
“But…” I sputtered. “But what about heaven?” A tear fell on my cheek. “How will I see my daughter if I don’t go to heaven.”
God didn’t answer me. But I heard the small man whispering into my ear. “Heaven? Baby, don’t you know the song? Heaven is a place on Earth.”
Note: Ok, sorry for fucking you over like that. 😉 I just couldn’t think of a nice ending that would be as good.