I think we can all agree that Israel is a really cool place. It’s the State where all different kinds of Jews can come together and fight with each other. The way I look at it, it’s like what would happen if you made Brooklyn into a country, except that the Italians and Blacks and Latinos are also Jewish. Oh, and everyone’s a little Sephardi. Plus, they all have chest hair and cell phones and chain-smoke. I think that covers it. Wait- it’s not like Brooklyn because people are nicer in Israel. Ok, this whole analogy is a mess.
They used to have an Israeli Jerry Springer-rip off show called “Only in Israel” (ironically). That was a fun show. But you don’t need to watch TV to be entertained in Israel. Just walk down a street in Geula and watch 4 year olds playing chicken with the cars while their mothers are going shopping. Or the gangs of 2-4 year olds hanging out on street corners at 1 in the morning. There’s no clearly defined system on how to make a Israeli, but I think this provides a pretty good outline. It’s something along the lines of survival of the craziest.
Now, don’t try to argue with me based on one tough American you know. Israelis are 1000 times tougher than us. That’s all Israelis. Even the women. No, especially the women. Even the nicest, skinniest Hebrew university student with the nerdiest srugy can have you running and crying in under a minute.
And that’s how we get to my TV series idea. Here it is: Basically, it’s 24, but Israeli. Now, you’re all thinking, “No, anything but more 24!”, and I totally understand, but just hear me out. You have a whole team of cool Israeli agents- female: dark and sexy, with their shirts half open, male: same thing, but more chest hair and a chai necklace- solving much more realistic terrorist plots. (If you think about it, “Shin Bet” has a very similar ring to “24“. Just throwing that out there.) Except it’s Israel, so it’s not over the top if the actors try to act super cool and tough. They could all dress in leather jackets and sunglasses, and report to a Joint Chiefs-type body made up of 8 fat, smoking, short-sleeve-white-shirt-open-necked-with-chest-hair, balding men distinguishable only by their levels of tan, and you’d say, “Yeah, looks pretty authentically Israel to me”.
Hey, just think about it, ok? It could be huge.
Hat tip: Israeli army girls pics from here.