Tag Archives: love

A Simple Introduction, by johntheSavage01

25 Oct

spiritual jewish tznius
Guest post by JohnTheSavage01

I’m here because of my girlfriend. I know. It’s definitely not the healthiest reason for returning to Judaism after abandoning it, but, in any case, here I am, typing away.

I grew up in a pretty modern orthodox community in New Jersey (if you took a guess, you’d probably be right), went to a pretty modern orthodox high school (if you took a guess, you’d probably be right) and after a year in Israel, went to a pretty big secular university (if you took a guess, you’d probably be right) whereupon, sniffing the air of freedom and self-hood, I then almost instantly discarded my Judaism.


Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hold any ill-will towards my religion. It’s just that, after having spent my entire youth being taught how important and valuable Judaism is, I can’t help it that I’m able to look back at it all and … not feel anything. When I see a frum person wearing a yarmulka on my campus or elsewhere, I wonder if they’re Jewish only because they need it. Perhaps its that they’re just unable to live their life without assurance from this romantic idea that there’s a God above us who, because of His existence, imparts life with meaning and direction. Perhaps these people so steadfastly cling to religion because, without it, their lives would be unable to give them the adequate happiness they require?


But my girlfriend is not like that. She isn’t deeply religious because she needs it to make her HAPPY.

First and foremost, my girlfriend is an optimist. She inherently believes in the good of every individual.  She is the type of person who makes friends with the shul’s goyish janitor and plays with their kid. She is the type of person who knocks on the front door of some random college house in the middle of the night to ask if they own the parked car in front of their house that has the lights left on.


She doesn’t need God to prevent a miserable existence. She only needs God in order to SANCTIFY her life. In other words, she has all the ingredients, she just needs a God to take her efforts and her relationships and elevate them to a level of spirituality and sanctity that could not be achieved without a God. Otherwise, she would just simply be a nice individual living in a world of other individuals who solely exist to survive and reproduce. And for some reason which I can’t guess at, this incredible woman has picked me to be with her.

And so that’s why after three years of not keeping shabbas, eating non-kosher pizza, getting drunk and going to incredibly sleazy parties, I am slowly, hesitantly, returning towards Judaism. For if this woman can elevate my life to a greater existence, it just might all be worth it.

A Religious Cycle

31 Jul

Why do some people love Judaism, and some hate it? Now, some of you folks out there may think that your feelings on this matter are a choice that has some basis in logic. Allow me to disabuse you of that notion with a beautiful Mashal:

There’s a poor family that lives in a wealthy town. This family is always being made fun of, abused and even attacked by other people because they have nothing. They’re excluded from everything the other families are doing.

Now, this town doesn’t allow dogs in it. They hate them and kill every dog they catch. Somehow though, a dog wonders in and the poor family grabs it and saves it. This dog is the one special thing they have in the world and it eventually becomes the focus of all their attentions. They feed it, hide it, play with it. It gives them a sense of purpose and pride.

One day one of the wealthy people in town hears barking coming from the house. He walks over and demands that they turn over the dog to be killed. They are so used to complying with the wealthy people that they immediately go and get it. However, when the man tries to grab the dog, it bites his hand and barks, scaring him away.

The rich neighbors band together and go back to the family to get the dog. This time, though, the family stands up to them. They lock the door of their hut and throw rocks at the neighbors until they leave. The family knows it’s not safe anymore. They run to another rich town and another, all of whom have the same attitude towards them and the dog.

After many years, they reach a town that doesn’t look down on them for being poor and even allows dogs. Some of the kids even become wealthy and have kids of their own. The family is now happy and proud, and they spoil the dog with whatever he wants. The dog, however, isn’t used to this. He’s allowed to go wherever he wants and eat whatever he wants. He starts to crap on the lawn and eat the flowers.

The kids complain, but the parents cover for him. He’s such a sweet dog, such a loyal dog. He was with us all along, he helped us through the darkest times. They simply can’t see anything bad with the dog. The dog, though, eventually realizes he’s getting away with everything. Now he takes a dark turn and starts biting the grandchildren. Their parents tell the grandparents to get control of the dog, but they make excuses for it and take half-assed measures to protect it. Now, one of the other children who walks the dog takes advantage of the new situation by using the dog to scare the other kids into doing what he wants. When anybody complains to the grandparents, the child twists the story to make it seem like the other kids are complaining about the dog. He’s not only let off the hook, but rewarded for sticking up for the dog.

Eventually though, the kids are fed up and try to force the parents to control the dog. But the parents join up with other dog owners and dog lover organizations and shoot Nuchem Rosenberg in the head.

I hope this clears things up for everybody.

Jaded Frum Girl Love

22 Jun

Originally posted on Frumsatire

Are you there jaded frum girl? It’s me, offthedwannabe. I want you. Tell me your hopes and dreams. They’re all gone? Oh, you’re just to good to be true.

What is it about you that drives me wild? Is it your dark brown hair and slightly alternative good looks? Your angry but tznius long sleeve t-shirts? Your cynical attitude protecting something really sweet deep down?

Tell me something negative about the bais yaakov you went to. Oh yeah. Let’s go to the mall and make fun of frum people. Did you just give that homeless guy money when I wasn’t looking? I want you so bad it hurts.

Come on, you know I don’t really want the blond haired girls. I wouldn’t even give them a ride in the rain. Would they tell me to go fuck myself with as much feeling as you do? Would they fight with my family like you do? We’ll be together forever. You love/hate me like I’m a part of you.