Tag Archives: museum

The Henry Ford Museum Three-ever After

23 Aug

Well, it seems a couple of people think I pushed the racial line with my 2nd Henry Ford museum post. Apparently, mentioning that Detroit city is predominantly poor and black is taking it too far. Next time, I’ll only make fun of old people, midgets, Jews, nerds, and faygelehs (but not fags) so everybody can laugh guilt-free.

But I didn’t mean to offend anybody, so to make it up anyone who was, I’m starting off with pictures from the tolerance exhibit. As before, I will try my best to put the pictures into context, but I can’t promise it’s all going to be as accurate as if I’d read the little exhibit signs:

"The Imperial Night Hawk", an early action hero from KKKomics.

These appear to be tiny public washing machines from Alabama:

They said this was the Rosa Parks bus, but I remember it being grey with a white top in the picture in my 6th grade textbook , so I don't know.


Other exhibits:

Early version of the assembly line. "Over to the left a bit. Ok........drop."

A wall of old phones.

Holy crap! Is that the 1st gen iphone?

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The Henry Ford Museum, Part II

7 Aug


If I ever go to a strange city and drive around, I always look for signs that tell me if I’m safe or not. Bicycle shop? Ok. Wine store, awesome. Liquor store- warning. Dirty knock-off Kentucky Fried Chicken-like store? Get the fuck out of there!

Now, the HF museum is in a pretty nice area. But in order to get to it, you need to drive through places that haven’t seen a cop car in years. I was told this last bit of trivia later by my cousin who works in Detroit City, but I picked up on it by myself through my own razor sharp detective skills. First Block: 20 wings for $5 sign on the right- Warning. Next block: Shirtless black guy walking between the cars, and high-fiving the car stopped by the light- go to High Alert. Next block: Pawn shop selling Boost Mobile prepaid phones right next to- what’s that? A HAIRBRAIDING PARLOR? Drive, motherfucker, drive!

Anyhow, thanks to my urban survival skills, I’m still here today to show you more cool stuff from the Museum. I’ll start with some cars:

American Race Car circa 1960:

Race Car c. 1930:

Race Car c. 1860:

And here are some Jewish exhibits:

A dual-shtender invention:

An early attempt at TV-hiding furniture:

A recreated silver breakfront from Boro Park:

 

What's this? No mahogany?

Other Stuff:

A relative of mine started this company. He was named after the other Zeide:

OscarMeyer Weiner

There were 5 or 6 full-size trains in the Museum, no joke:

"Don't be embarrassed Ruthy, you can look at the other train. It's just a smokestack."

The Henry Ford Museum

4 Aug

The Henry Ford Museum. Not A Movie Theater.

Well, I just got back from visiting relatives in Detroit. Since there’s really nothing to do there except look out for black people wandering into the immaculate Bewitched-esque white suburbs, we visited the Henry Ford Museum. (Detroit folks will like this one, everyone else now thinks I’m a racist.)

Now, whenever I visit a museum, I recognize immediately, on a biological level, that I’m a loser. People with real lives would rather do anything than pay to walk around indoors and look at old things. In an even fight, Museum visiting loses to sitting on your ass all day watching daytime TV. But this wasn’t an even fight. My cousins wanted to “do something”.

Resigned to doing something insane, I figured I’d try to make the best of it. I’d only look at the interesting exhibits (ughh, that word makes me cringe) and avoid reading at all costs. I finished the all-documents “With Liberty and Justice For All” section in about two minutes. And somehow, after that, the rest of the Museum became interesting. Actually, very interesting. It was probably the best Museum I’ve ever been to.

So, in keeping with the no reading spirit, I present to you the Henry Ford museum via pictures I took, along with information based on half-assed glances at signs and stuff I make up to fill in the gaps. (You can decide which is which):

Pimp mobile for mid-1800’s celebrities:

Pimped out Harvester/Train Engine

Mr. Burns’ Car:

Mr. Burns’ Chair:

Chair made entirely out of sticks and shit for Cornelius Vanderbuilt:

Wheels for driving the museum around:

Big Wheels

This Plane says Fokker:

I saw people urinating on this:

Marble Sculpture, Mid 1900's

Well, that’s all for now. Have a good Shabbos, and see you next week.