Tag Archives: rap

The Money and the Power

20 Mar

Made you sing.

If you went to Yeshiva in the 90’s, you know the song. Probably, by way of this song. Either way, rap, or heavy metal, resonates with a lot of kids. Then those kids are thrown are thrown out of Yeshiva. Me, I was more into rebelling through humor.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but making jokes was my way of passive-aggressive resistance to the system. My father always told jokes and people liked that. And since I grew up trying to copy him, it seemed such a deviously natural way of rejecting without having to take flak over it. It would have been better if I would have faced it and gotten kicked around till I found a place where I fit in, but I’ve never had too many balls (or is it too much balls?).

I’m sure this is why Jews are funny in the first place. Jews were abused in whichever country they were in. They couldn’t rebel outright, so they harmlessly mocked it. And, like most other oppressed people, they passed on the abuse to their kids. That’s why there used to be so many Jewish comedians in America. They were first, or second, generation abused emigrants. As they went down a few generations and became more comfortable in American society, and inter-married into normal American society, the need for repression decreased. As I said a long time ago, I think you can make the same argument about religion, but I’m not going to go into that here. If you want to read it, you can see it here. (Keep in mind, I wrote it for a frum intellectual-style magazine, so it may be a little bit different than you’re used to reading on this site.)

Hmm, looks like I drifted from the title. Well…that’s really what I’m talking about here anyhow, so I’ll keep it.


Jonah Bible Rap (Not as bad as you’d think)

10 Feb

Fun Chanukah Stuff

22 Dec

(Dreidel song breakdown. Beat’s good.)

(Make sure you make it to the verse at 1:45)

(Sorry, I had to.)

(Matisyahu in a Santa hat feels weird and uncomfortable. But it’s still a million times better than the Maccabeats’ smiley gay rip-off. And I’m sorry gay people, I know that comparison was offensive, but you give me another word to describe the Maccabeats. They’re the Jewish Glee.)

And Now…Youtube Videos From Afghanistan

28 Oct

Look at that awesome kid. That beats National Geographic any day of the week.

“This is a rap I wrote for Jennifer: Jennifer, Jennifer, you so fine, I’d trade your father 3 goats to make you mine. Come on Jenny, my hovel is pimpin, my village is mostly standing, and we don’t rape boys anymore. Oh Jenny! I spy with my one good eye, someone wants a taste of Afghani pie. That’s right, bitches. Hey, where’s she at anyhow?”

My dearest Amy,

Today our unit was thrust into the thickest of the violence once again. My thoughts turned to you once more to give me strength. I am safe, praise God, but am having some difficulty walking.

Eternally yours,


Have a good Shabbos everyone.

Please End The Pop Rap

24 Jul

I tried to understand why I don’t like rap songs with music interludes like ‘All of the Lights’, and ‘Coming Home’. I mean, I like the song and the words are solid, what’s the problem?

I think it’s this. I’m trying to listen to music. The opening music part of ‘Coming home’ is great. I’m getting into it. Then some random dude pops in and reads me an essay. I don’t care if it’s the best essay in the world, it’s just distracting.

Someone should just tell him already, “Accept it, Diddy. You’re a good rapper, but you suck at singing. Yes, that means you’ll miss out on the song dollars, but you’ll still sell your rap albums.” Certain things work together, and certain things don’t. Just like I don’t want custard sushi, or wasabi donuts, I don’t want you talking over the song.”

And please, stop trying all these new ways to mesh the two. You’re just killing both of them. Diddy: “Is a house really a home when your loved ones are gone?” Backup singers: “Nooo-whoa.” Owww, stop. Having backup singers answer your rhetorical question is not a step in the right direction.

I’ll let Natasha Leggero rap this up: